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By Ben Elton

Ben Elton is ready to place the "real" again into truth television in his biting satire of 1 of today's most well liked cultural phenomena -- the television expertise show.

95,000 hopefuls. 3 judges. only one winner.

And that's Colin Simms, the genius at the back of the show.

Colin continuously wins, simply because Colin writes the foundations. yet this 12 months, as he sits smugly in judgment at the mingers, clingers and blingers whom he has pre-selected in his rigorously scripted "search" for a celeb, he has no concept that the foundations are altering. The "real" is ready to be positioned again into "reality" tv, and Colin and his fellow judges (the nation's favorite mum and the opposite bloke) are approximately to develop into ex-factors themselves.

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Chart Throb

Ben Elton is ready to place the "real" again into fact television in his biting satire of 1 of today's most well liked cultural phenomena -- the television expertise show.

95,000 hopefuls. 3 judges. only one winner.

And that's Colin Simms, the genius at the back of the show.

Colin continually wins, simply because Colin writes the foundations. yet this yr, as he sits smugly in judgment at the mingers, clingers and blingers whom he has pre-selected in his rigorously scripted "search" for a celeb, he has no concept that the principles are altering. The "real" is set to be positioned again into "reality" tv, and Colin and his fellow judges (the nation's favorite mum and the opposite bloke) are approximately to develop into ex-factors themselves.

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George F. Burns When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. Don Herold If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer. It just seems longer. Clement Freud Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. Mark Twain Beer is a wholesome liquor … it abounds with nourishment. Dr. Benjamin Rush One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

Coincidence? Stephen Wright Remember: “i” before “e,” except in Budweiser. Anonymous Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. John P. Grier Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. Proverbs 31:6 Wine is bottled poetry. Robert Louis Stevenson The greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer … the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

James Joyce Good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used. William Shakespeare, Othello Claret is the liquor for boys; port, for men; but he who aspires to be a hero … must drink brandy. Samuel Johnson Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin I know the truth is in between the first and fortieth drink. Tori Amos It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the wine, or any other reason.

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