By Carl Alasko Ph. D.
This uncomplicated, easy advisor to powerful verbal exchange is for a person who has ever desired to “eat their words.”
Do you ever believe that your phrases produce the complete opposite impact of what you have been hoping for—escalating tensions instead of fixing difficulties? writer of Emotional Bullshit Carl Alasko has discovered that with the ideal suggestions, someone can examine powerful verbal exchange talents. In Say This, now not That, Alasko provides readers with easy directions for what to assert . . . and what not to assert. Accompanying every one pair of statements is a quick dialogue of what makes one so detrimental and damaging, and the opposite inviting of the form of dialogue wanted. This ebook is the final word source for somebody who longs to always say the best factor on the correct time.
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Additional info for Say This, Not That: A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication
Learning the most effective way of stating your case, asking for something you need, or defending yourself from a verbal attack are skills that will serve you in every encounter. — The first script I taught Jane and Eduardo didn’t even involve words. I diagnosed their problem as too much communication, almost all of it toxic. Each of them reacted either verbally or with body language to every comment, unable to let anything slide. So their first set of instructions was to practice silence, combined with a neutral body posture and especially a neutral facial expression whenever they were together, and especially when one of them was feeling tense.
For instance, spilling a glass of milk was close to a capital crime. During my first decade of practice, I delved deeply into the childhood history of my patients in an effort to help them recognize how their early training influenced their day-to-day interactions. It was very helpful for them to learn why they were so reactive. They wanted to know why they continued to make the same mistakes over and over, both in their relationships and at work. Ultimately, however, it turned out that, more than anything, they needed help in how to behave in the present.
I asked them about a recent “date” they’d scheduled, and whether Eduardo had had a good time with Jane. ” Had he thanked his wife for coming with him? “Ah, no,” Eduardo replied. ” “If you want to encourage her to do so again, yes,” I said. ” He thought for a moment, then turned to his wife. ” He paused. “I had a good time. ” As could be expected, Jane instantly grew tense. ” I ordered. “Eduardo, please rewind. ” “But I’m just telling her that she wasn’t—” he tried to argue. “No, you’re not,” I said.