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By Geoff Tibballs

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Sample text

88 A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulled up at a bus stop where two Americans were waiting. ’ he asked. The two Americans just stared at him. He tried again. ’ The two Americans continued to stare. ’ asked the Swiss. No response. ’ he ventured. Still nothing. The Swiss man then drove off, disgusted. ’ said the other. ’ Some Rejected State Slogans: 89 Alabama: Literassy Ain’t Everything. Ya Want Fries With That? 90 Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong. 91 California: As Seen On TV. 92 Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother.

I’ll just hang your parka over it until it’s paid . ’ ALCOHOL 56 A guy went to a doctor and said: ‘I’m having problems with sex. ’ The doctor asked him what he drinks when he goes to the pub. ‘Er, lager,’ he replied, bemused. ‘Ha, that’s your problem,’ said the doctor. ‘Lager shrinks things. ’ Two months later, the man returned to the doctor’s with a big smile on his face. He shook the doctor warmly by the hand and thanked him. ’ said the doctor. ’ 57 When are beer and your mother-in-law at their best?

The American blew a huge bubble and grinned. ‘We don’t. In the States, we only eat what’s inside. ’ The Canadian listened in silence, but the American persisted. ’ The Canadian sighed. ’ Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said: ‘We don’t. ’ Now it was the Canadian’s turn to smile. ‘We don’t. ’ 85 What’s the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? – A Northern fairytale starts, ‘Once upon a time . ’ A Southern fairytale starts, ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit .

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